Full Hands & Open Heart

Welcome to our little corner on the web! I wish I could be chatting with you face to face over dinner and dessert. I'd much rather hear your voice, share in laughter, and cry together, but hopefully in time that will happen. I promise, when that time comes, I'll cook you an amazing Midwest meal you won't forget.

My name is Kansas. I'm the mom of this tribe, but I couldn't do it without the help of my husband, Danny. We're a team...literally, our family is like a whole team in itself and we're fiercely competitive, so don't mess with us! ;)

The truth is, I never imagined our family would look this way.  I thought becoming parents would be easy and go as we planned. When we were first married, I prayed God would bless us with eight children, both adopted and biological (I didn't tell my husband I was praying for that, but he quickly learned)! Three adopted, two biological, one failed adoption, left me wondering what God's "eight" meant and what that would look like.

I'm a planner, leader, and perfectionist.  When becoming a mom, I had to throw all of that out the window and give myself grace. When my "not so perfect plan" did not go my way, I began to see beauty beyond the mess.  Through the pain and uncertain moments of motherhood, I had to trust someone greater than myself and that's when my life and perspective changed.

Praise Jesus. 

I'm fueled by traveling with my family, spontaneous adventures, date nights with my man, worship around the piano, family devotions, cooking with my kids, ladies' bible studies, and talking for hours about adoption. Some of the best things in life are chips & queso, a strong macchiato, game nights with friends, a gooey chocolate chip cookie, an amazing bargain, homemade caramels, candles lite all day long, toes in the sand, and baby snuggles.

I skip the small talk and would rather go deep and straight to the heart. I love hearing the stories of others and it drives me to share mine. When God called me to begin to speak and share our family story, I said "no". I didn't want to face the hurt that was still deep inside of me after experiencing some of the hardest moments in motherhood. Did I mention I was stubborn? Don't worry, I only said "no" for a short time before I realized I was doing this in "my way" instead of "His way." I always encourage my kids to be brave, share their story, and speak truth, so why wouldn't I do the same? That's when my perspective changed and sharing became a passion. It was healing for my soul and hope for what God had in store for our family.

I fell into motherhood really fast at the age of 23, to a nine month old baby boy and two months later we found out we were expecting. TOTALLY NOT OUR PLAN. I wanted each of our kids to be two years a part, and have time to figure this "mom thing" out! Motherhood has been the best calling ever but it's also been the hardest. Would I change any of it? Of course, I'd be lying if I said no. However, that's obviously not God's plan, so I'm trusting that some day I'll understand His reasoning for everything.

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I live by Romans 12:5 and believe "We exist for others." I feel called to encourage, support, and serve those that God has placed in our life. Whether that's over a meal, an online community, or small group I want to walk alongside other women pursuing God. He has a purpose and plan for each of us and I want to discover that together.

So dear friends, welcome to my family, the storyboard where I'll wrestle and dream, and to the adventure God's beginning to take us on. My hands may be full, but my heart is open to where He is leading us next. It's my prayer that we'll learn, cry happy-tears, grow deep, and chase God's call together. I hope it's a wild, grace-filled ride! I know we will become good friends and as I begin to share our story, I hope you share yours as well!

With full hands & an open heart,

Kansas