FERGEN FAMILY ADOPTION SERIES- 49

I never thought this day would come. When we lost Jerik, I cried for weeks thinking I would never see him again. I struggled with moving on and had to force myself to find joy in the every day moments. When we got the call for Deaston, it was VERY clear that God was at work. Jerik was from the Charlotte, NC area and when we left, I felt like I was leaving a piece of my heart there. Never did I think that my future son would also come from this area too. It was like God knew exactly what we needed. Before we left SD to adopt Daeston, I prayed that God would give us the opportunity to see Jerik again. I know that sounds crazy, but I believed that God was working in ways we could not imagine.

You see, Daeston would never replace Jerik, and I was not looking for that. I was overwhelmed with love for our new son, but that didn't mean I still didn't love Jerik or his birth mom. They were forever our family and knowing that we were going to be in the same area as where they lived, gave me hope that we would be able to see them. Over the last month since saying goodbye to Jerik, Shinara and I kept in touch by texting. So after being in NC for over a week as a family, I asked her if she would be interested in seeing us. I asked if we could see Jerik again and if our kids could meet him. (Most people probably thought we were crazy, but honestly, we didn't care.)
.
I believed whole-heartedly that God had a plan through it all and our story with Jerik was unfinished. Thankfully, Shinara said "yes," and we made plans to meet them at a local mall park so the kids could play and we could talk. I'll never forget the moment when she walked up and we embraced without words. Really, it was all God. Never did I think I would be able to face her without hard feelings after all the pain she put us through, but there was something unspoken that was even stronger. It was LOVE. Regardless of what she put us through, I had this immense love for her, and I still do.