FERGEN FAMILY ADOPTION SERIES- 50

The next hour was a BLUR. It was filled with questions, hard conversation, answers, tears, but most of all, JOY. Never did I think I would be able to experience JOY in that moment, but I did, it was an answer to prayer. Being able to see all my children in one spot and have them meet, it was surreal. God knew what He was doing and conversation with Shinara was better than I could have ever imagined.

I know a lot of people questioned her, were angry with her, and just didn't get it. To be honest, I had moments of this too, but at the end of the day I knew she was brought into my life for a reason and I loved her. She was the mother of our son, regardless if he was living with our family or not. He would always be our son and I wanted the best for not only him, but her. We needed this moment together, we needed to heal. Never will I forgot the look in her eyes as she apologized to us. She was sincere and in that moment, I forgave her for all the hurt she put us through.

Having Daeston in my arms was a secure feeling, as we sat and talked. It was as if God was of saying. “I had a plan, I am faithful, and he is yours." Nothing will ever change the way I feel about Jerik or his mom Shinara, and NOTHING will ever change the way I feel about Daeston. He is son, and was always meant to be. He is our "joy" after our "mourning."

Before it came time for us to go, we were able to get some pictures together. My absolute favorite picture was the one that Shinara took of Danny and I with our five children. Regardless of where Jerik lives, he will always be part of our family and our story. To this day, we still keep in touch with them, send pictures, and talk. I look forward to the day when we can be in the same room again because I know God is at work and has an amazing plan.